Monday, May 7, 2007
Life....
Suddenly it strucks me dat my life is only rotatin ard work,hm n occasionally sch.Lately my social life sucks abit.My frens are all bit by bit MIA, mybe im so focused or shall i say too tired frm working dat i cudnt be bothered to go out n meet pple...
Every single other day i met the same pple.. be it in the MRT, work, school, home.. It just gets so boring at times. Now my life looks like more like a cycle/routine
My social life seems to be thinnin n thinnin lately.
Im missing my late party nights, gettin tipsy occasionally...
Now.. i still have pple askin me to go clubs with dem, just dat im sick of goin with pple dat i dun really click with u noe.. just go with u for e sake of goin or in better terms just to have a clubbing pal?
I am seriously so cannot go on further with it.
Now den i realise i dun really have a bestie, i mean real bestie as in close fren dat u will talk yr heart out, be there for u when times call for it, cry together with u, etc etc.
i have frens who may seems like close frens with me, but their ways of close fren is like, when they need u they come lookin for u. Dats not what close fren means to me, dat is more like u makin use of yr frens. Well, mybe they have found their close fren, by this i meant by bf.
It just sucks u noe to see yr so-called close fren happily movin on life with her bf den when they quarrel they came running back to u?? - this is the part where it sucks like hell! do i really potray the image of a one-stop counselling session here?? when u're dwn den u come lookin for me.. wth!
they say boys come n go but for me even "close frens" come n go.. mybe i just havent hit the right one..
with me bein so super bloody damn soft hearted, i cudnt have the heart to like totally switch off myself frm dem in times like those.. Sigh! dats the trouble of bein too s0ft-hearted! I noe i may not seems like a soft hearetd person but deep dwn i really am!
I dunnoe why,but i dun like to tell others my worries/sadness/probs etc etc.
i just find it so super hard to like open up n let it out.
i suck at tellin pple but im gd at writing.
n i make a very gd listener/counsellor/advisor - im not makin this up, i had pple tellg me this, funny isnt it..? believe it anot, its yr call, not dat i care even if u chose not to believe! lol!
i just find it dat when sometimes i wanna tell pple, they'll seems like totally not interested at all n will start giving me the are-u-done? face.. n dat just stops me from goin furtehr, not even a word more. every single time i always end up sayin only like a mere 2 sentence which is not even the beginning of it. Well maybe its just me bein sensitive..
1yrs n 6mths had past n here i am still like an idiot!
i dun noe why im still sorta idling n indirectly waiting where he already found the light of his life.
its just so difficult to like carry on from where i had left. Shucks! din expect to have this impact!
I've been tellin others dat i had gotten over it, where in fact im still in the process of it now!
Its so hard for me to like drop him off like a bombshell!
truth be told i shud have already seen this coming but yet i tell myself, this aint the same.. yah right!
Why is it when everytime im ready to invest, really invest this sorta thing has to happen.. ugh! sigh!
Went to do some retail therapy this month, end up spendin alot!
Bot for my kittys a door dangler toy. n beauty products for myself, hey a gerl still gotta take care of her beauty u noe, even if the werld's endin 2mr!
Im really in need of the ratail therapy, definitely will do me sum good!
there's still so many more in me...
but i hate lengthy post... hehe
