Sunday, February 17, 2008
stop
i gave up.
i dont wanna continue this stupid ridiculous fucking race.
others have already finished their race, while im still back at the starting point.
so was whatever distance i ran all this while for nought? for nothing?
i gave up the ludicrous search.
i gave up the treaure hunt.
for it is futile.
its like im able to see the prize, which is right infront of me but i feel there's no way i can geddit.
why, u may ask.
because there will forever be a transparent glass there which i am always unable to pass thru.
so im not gonna preservere anymore.
im not gonna fight for it.
im not gonna do anything abt it.
Nor am i gonna gv 2 flying fucks abt it.
Pple say, imagine myself in a tunnel, where i am at e middle or semi-middle of it.
see e light? run towards the direction of that light, that is where im heading. That's my final destination.
Yeaaaa riiittteeeeee!
they are not me, thus its damn easy for them to say all this.
others have all reached their finishing line or the so-called tunnel or maybe atleast reach the last leg of it.
me? i am still at e beginning of it, ok well maybe half. and after that, i dont progress further.
im like STAGNANT there. or back at the starting line yet again?
now my stamina, energy, determination, willpower and whatever that came along with it has already died out. totally dead, which also mean Yours Truly see no point in fighting or hoping on.
So now, i officially decide to stop.
stop waiting
stop hoping
stop fighting
stop harbouring
stop preservering
stop searching
stop wishing
stop running for it. - i think it as FOR and not FROM.
im gonna make good my words now. trust me.
the idiom - once bitten twice shy cudnt be more spot on.
except in my case, its umpteen times bitten, and only now e realization to shy.
