Friday, September 5, 2008
I just had a very hot soothing satisfying bath. And i thought it will help. Usually in most cases, 9 out of 10 times, after i had a very longggg hot bath, everything will be back to normal mode. My astrological zodiac sign is a Cancer, u see. Thus, my element is Water. Naturally a hot / cold soak or hours long of shower in the bathroom will set my pace back in the right track on Earth, but for today that doesnt quite does the trick.
When i heard it, i felt as thou i had took a very bad fall. a very bad crushing fall. My world is gloomy and in total darkness suddenly. Total pitch black. I really am stumped. i dunnoe what to say or react but me being me, i tried VERY hard to compose myself. I hold back n fight back my tears which was on the verge of falling. The smiles, laughters and talks was all just a pretence, i confess. I cudnt possible breakdown in front of her, she may think i a loose case for losing it suddenly. In actual fact, i was already shivering n shaking but i just brushed it off and told her that its kinda cold in there.
i knew this was coming from the beginning. i knew it frm e start that eventually it will never work out. But still i kept harping on it.vAs a matter of fact i think i had it coming. For now, I am certainly, absolutely not expecting this kind of news at all. Not saying that the thought did not cross my mind, it did actually. I just dont wanna elaborate it. Why borrow trouble when u already have more then enough worries on your plate? Wudnt say im shocked too as i kinda anticipating this. It was also a matter of time anyway. Sooner or later, i still will n have to know about it. Just that it came so suddenly that it left me dumbfounded for quite a while there. The term of "expect the unexpected" really live up to its name, i must say.
i just dont understand why am i feeling this way. Betrayal and being stabbed in the back repeatedly many times. Thing is, i dont even have anything goin on w him in the 1st place, but i just cant explain why am i reacting like this. The feeling of great, enormous, immense dissapointment and hurt? Do u pple read me? I dont feel a tinge of jealousness at all thou. I somehow wished i would be jealous and all. But no, I just felt being STRONGLY betrayed.
I thought all along i can handle this kinda stuff very well, but apparently my judgement fail me.
Yesternight i had a very long talk w Bitch, she made me realise some stuffs and see some things which is in his perspective. All of which i am blinded by. But now, seems like all of those wont matter anymore.
Funny how he can make me feel like on cloud 9, 7 seven, all hyped up and brings me down to misery, dissapointment in a short span of less then 6hrs. Yes, the very same one and only person.
Well, better now then later right they say? Then again, their say doesnt help cause ultimately u're e one dealing w this.
When i heard it, i felt as thou i had took a very bad fall. a very bad crushing fall. My world is gloomy and in total darkness suddenly. Total pitch black. I really am stumped. i dunnoe what to say or react but me being me, i tried VERY hard to compose myself. I hold back n fight back my tears which was on the verge of falling. The smiles, laughters and talks was all just a pretence, i confess. I cudnt possible breakdown in front of her, she may think i a loose case for losing it suddenly. In actual fact, i was already shivering n shaking but i just brushed it off and told her that its kinda cold in there.
i knew this was coming from the beginning. i knew it frm e start that eventually it will never work out. But still i kept harping on it.vAs a matter of fact i think i had it coming. For now, I am certainly, absolutely not expecting this kind of news at all. Not saying that the thought did not cross my mind, it did actually. I just dont wanna elaborate it. Why borrow trouble when u already have more then enough worries on your plate? Wudnt say im shocked too as i kinda anticipating this. It was also a matter of time anyway. Sooner or later, i still will n have to know about it. Just that it came so suddenly that it left me dumbfounded for quite a while there. The term of "expect the unexpected" really live up to its name, i must say.
i just dont understand why am i feeling this way. Betrayal and being stabbed in the back repeatedly many times. Thing is, i dont even have anything goin on w him in the 1st place, but i just cant explain why am i reacting like this. The feeling of great, enormous, immense dissapointment and hurt? Do u pple read me? I dont feel a tinge of jealousness at all thou. I somehow wished i would be jealous and all. But no, I just felt being STRONGLY betrayed.
I thought all along i can handle this kinda stuff very well, but apparently my judgement fail me.
Yesternight i had a very long talk w Bitch, she made me realise some stuffs and see some things which is in his perspective. All of which i am blinded by. But now, seems like all of those wont matter anymore.
Funny how he can make me feel like on cloud 9, 7 seven, all hyped up and brings me down to misery, dissapointment in a short span of less then 6hrs. Yes, the very same one and only person.
Well, better now then later right they say? Then again, their say doesnt help cause ultimately u're e one dealing w this.
To make things worst, look what's in my daily horoscope for today : -
The Bottom Line
Something that someone says to you today will leave you stunned -- and confused.
In Detail
Something that someone says today will leave you stunned -- and confused. They are showing you a side of themselves that you have never seen before, and it might take you a while to get used to it. And if you are feeling indecisive about how to react, don't beat yourself up. And do not rush to decide how this changes your feelings about this person. Give them the benefit of the doubt, because that's what they've given you so many times in the past.
This is what i get eh, for letting my heart wins?
Yea, i think so too.
Yea, i think so too.
