Saturday, December 26, 2009
reply
First n foremost, i appreciate u replyin. Frm the bottom of my heart and honestly, i truly appreciate it.
Thanks for takin the time to read n reply. I wasnt expectin u or anyone to still read my blog thou.
Thanks for takin the time to read n reply. I wasnt expectin u or anyone to still read my blog thou.
About the chalet issue, apologies on my part if u felt that way. I sincerely hv no intention at all to make u guys feel neglected. I overlooked matters, my bad. The thought of me, not entertaining u peeps didnt occurred to me at all. I am under the impression that u guys dont like Baobei n his fren being there. I am stucked in between, u see. One is my Baobei, while the other is my Precious Party Peoples. I figured, u guys wudnt mind me stickin with him as u guys got each other's company while they're just the 2 of them. Looks like, my assumption is so dead wrong. But trust me, i genuinely hv no intention of makin u pple come dwn all e way for nothing n brushing u guys aside.
Evry couple who's in love yearns for that. I dont deny, that i too wished n longed for it. But of course, not to the extent of makin pple arnd yr surroundings hv the notion that they're being ignored, depreciate n dismiss for gd. Thou i must also emphasise, this might not be applicable to all. I cant speak for all when it comes to this. What i felt may not necessarily be what others felt. Others may not experience the vibes im getting.
I dun expect u to be there for me like always, cause i understand that now u are in a rship. N no, dun get me mistaken, im not against it. Thou sometimes, honestly speaking, i dont approve of the way u guys handle situations n how u dealt w issues but i know, i hv no say over it so its best to zipup n hush-hush! I understand that, now u hv commitments, hv to spent time w yr other half, hv mushy2 moments with "the-one", that honeymoon period, the regular fites, those normal occasional stress, the lovey-dovey times, those loving occasion, the private-u&me time, and all the other etcs dat comes along in a rship..
I just hope that u dont cast n chuck me aside like a washed-out n worned-out doll waiting to be discarded. I dun wish to be looked upon as something which has lost its worth, one dat is of no value. Neither do i wished to be treated as something dat cant be market out even when giving it away as freebies or something that even the Rag-&-Bone guy do not wanna re-purchase.
Its no biggie if we cant remain status quo like previously, but atleast try not be drifted away frm each other.. u get what im tryin say here? Im not that heartless to demand the moon or the skies frm you. The rainbow is sufficient 'nuff. (^_^)
Also, it helps, knowing that the memories/times we shared n spent together are being cherished. That is very soothing n nice to know. Something that leaves a lingerin wonderful feeling..
OK, having typed all the above and also in my previous entry, i just want YOU to know n bear in mind dat i neither harbour or plant, nor did i nurture any hatred towards u. I may not be forgiving for now, but still, deep down, i love u as much as before. No even an ounce less.
Frankly, i earnestly n deeply appreciate u replyin. I take pleasure n applaud u for takin the time to read my massive lengthy post n also replyin to them. I certainly and absolutely wasnt expectin anyone to reply or get back to me with regards to this. When i penned the previous entry dwn, it was more of me letting my hearts out n not holding or keeping anything back. It's me lettin my anger overcome n releasing all e whatever inner grievances i may hv. In another words, its me in all of e negative emotions : -
U shud hv talked to me about this earlier. If u hadnt mention it now, i forever wudnt had known that somehow in regardless of with intention or no/ indirectly or not/ with or wout motive, on my part, i had caused u guys to felt that way. I wiould be kept in the dark n outta the loop till eternity! So.. Now, who's bottling things up here huh?
Sometimes, we need others to point out the mistakes that we had done. We dont always see where we had gone wrong n astray. To us, it may be nothing and its not an issue, but others may not feel likewise n see it the same way. Not everyone share the same mindset with one another. We learn from n by mistakes, so we dont repeat it. Its been said, u dun fell at the same spot twice. The same applies for this : a duplication of the alike is uncalled for.
Sometimes, we need others to point out the mistakes that we had done. We dont always see where we had gone wrong n astray. To us, it may be nothing and its not an issue, but others may not feel likewise n see it the same way. Not everyone share the same mindset with one another. We learn from n by mistakes, so we dont repeat it. Its been said, u dun fell at the same spot twice. The same applies for this : a duplication of the alike is uncalled for.
I still SO much feel the urge to text u when anything/everything arises. Even the smallest, tiniest thing, U wud always be the 1st person to come to mind. Its like a auto-reflex action. However, I beat n supressed my desire to go lookin for u bcos, as stated in my prev entry.. u are so near but yet so far.. U are un-attainable and unreachable.
U are like gazillion of distances far away from me. I no longer feel i can reach across to u. Maybe its just me, but i hv e feeling that im a hindrance and a nuisance to u, somewho's who botherin u with all the nity-grity silly stuffs. Face the fact, Im alr 22 and i always go running to u sharing n flooding u w everything. Where in actual fact, i , the older one should be the one on e standby for u, and not the other way round.
U are like gazillion of distances far away from me. I no longer feel i can reach across to u. Maybe its just me, but i hv e feeling that im a hindrance and a nuisance to u, somewho's who botherin u with all the nity-grity silly stuffs. Face the fact, Im alr 22 and i always go running to u sharing n flooding u w everything. Where in actual fact, i , the older one should be the one on e standby for u, and not the other way round.
Somehow i just hv the feeling, dat at some point of another, u see me as : AINI = BAD NEWS.. Or anytime in the future, u wud begin to see me like that. U noe it best, my imagination always goes beyond my control, thus that kinda thinking.
It's not that i do not wanna share my life stories w u anymore. Dont get me wrong. Im not shunning u off. U are like being shield under a invisible protective layer that others cant get past thru. One which will bounce u off when u get near it,something that will bounced back on u n hit it right back at ya, in yr face!
I noe that eventho u are w someone 24/7, u never disregard ur dearest(s). Recalling back, u were w Coco n the rest in the past, but this is the first time dat im encountering this situation with you. Its only now, that i felt immensely very slighted. While i understand that yr partner may want n keep u all by herself, this however is not going the rite way.Simply put, u're something dat screams : NO BYPASSING ALLOWED. INTRUDERS WILL BE ELECTROCUTED.
Talking to u nowadays seems nowhere near possible. Even goin thru Guerilla Warfare in e jungle isnt as complex, formidable and strenous when comparing talkin to u.
To hold a nice convo wout interruption with u lately, is a no-picnic event, one that is highly prohibitive, dat constantly will have eyes watching. Something which can only be done on e sly. And when triggered wrongly or when irrelevant authorites dat may come upon knowing, it will detonate like an flaming erupting volcano with a loud BANG.!
Something which carries an impact that comes with extreme dire consequences. Consequences like a Earth-shaking/shattering/wrecking/demolising gigantic EarthQuake or a jumbo Tsunami with Gargantuan/enormous/monstrous/tremendous/KILLER waves.
Yes, physically u may be there, but mentally..u are not. God knows where yr mind has floated off to! Feels as thou im talkin to a block of wood. (not that im referrin u as e wood, ofcourse!) When i talked to u, u see me, but u dont really see me. U see pass thru me. Like im invisible, or rather, like i dont exist and am not standin/sittin/talkin infront of u.
At times u may respond, but yr response are unlike you. Its not yr normal way of answering. U are only responding for the sake of responding. To put it harshly, its just to acknowledge whatever crap i had just delivered to u. U may not realise it, but yr reaction make others think dat they are troubling u.
Talking to u nowadays seems nowhere near possible. Even goin thru Guerilla Warfare in e jungle isnt as complex, formidable and strenous when comparing talkin to u.
To hold a nice convo wout interruption with u lately, is a no-picnic event, one that is highly prohibitive, dat constantly will have eyes watching. Something which can only be done on e sly. And when triggered wrongly or when irrelevant authorites dat may come upon knowing, it will detonate like an flaming erupting volcano with a loud BANG.!
Something which carries an impact that comes with extreme dire consequences. Consequences like a Earth-shaking/shattering/wrecking/demolising gigantic EarthQuake or a jumbo Tsunami with Gargantuan/enormous/monstrous/tremendous/KILLER waves.
Yes, physically u may be there, but mentally..u are not. God knows where yr mind has floated off to! Feels as thou im talkin to a block of wood. (not that im referrin u as e wood, ofcourse!) When i talked to u, u see me, but u dont really see me. U see pass thru me. Like im invisible, or rather, like i dont exist and am not standin/sittin/talkin infront of u.
At times u may respond, but yr response are unlike you. Its not yr normal way of answering. U are only responding for the sake of responding. To put it harshly, its just to acknowledge whatever crap i had just delivered to u. U may not realise it, but yr reaction make others think dat they are troubling u.
Evry couple who's in love yearns for that. I dont deny, that i too wished n longed for it. But of course, not to the extent of makin pple arnd yr surroundings hv the notion that they're being ignored, depreciate n dismiss for gd. Thou i must also emphasise, this might not be applicable to all. I cant speak for all when it comes to this. What i felt may not necessarily be what others felt. Others may not experience the vibes im getting.
I dun expect u to be there for me like always, cause i understand that now u are in a rship. N no, dun get me mistaken, im not against it. Thou sometimes, honestly speaking, i dont approve of the way u guys handle situations n how u dealt w issues but i know, i hv no say over it so its best to zipup n hush-hush! I understand that, now u hv commitments, hv to spent time w yr other half, hv mushy2 moments with "the-one", that honeymoon period, the regular fites, those normal occasional stress, the lovey-dovey times, those loving occasion, the private-u&me time, and all the other etcs dat comes along in a rship..
I just hope that u dont cast n chuck me aside like a washed-out n worned-out doll waiting to be discarded. I dun wish to be looked upon as something which has lost its worth, one dat is of no value. Neither do i wished to be treated as something dat cant be market out even when giving it away as freebies or something that even the Rag-&-Bone guy do not wanna re-purchase.
Its no biggie if we cant remain status quo like previously, but atleast try not be drifted away frm each other.. u get what im tryin say here? Im not that heartless to demand the moon or the skies frm you. The rainbow is sufficient 'nuff. (^_^)
Also, it helps, knowing that the memories/times we shared n spent together are being cherished. That is very soothing n nice to know. Something that leaves a lingerin wonderful feeling..
OK, having typed all the above and also in my previous entry, i just want YOU to know n bear in mind dat i neither harbour or plant, nor did i nurture any hatred towards u. I may not be forgiving for now, but still, deep down, i love u as much as before. No even an ounce less.
Frankly, i earnestly n deeply appreciate u replyin. I take pleasure n applaud u for takin the time to read my massive lengthy post n also replyin to them. I certainly and absolutely wasnt expectin anyone to reply or get back to me with regards to this. When i penned the previous entry dwn, it was more of me letting my hearts out n not holding or keeping anything back. It's me lettin my anger overcome n releasing all e whatever inner grievances i may hv. In another words, its me in all of e negative emotions : -
sad/upset/dejected/forlorn/gloomy/weepy/sorrows/despairing/tragic/heart-rending/ bitter/revengeful/evil/murderous/resentful/spiteful/callous/ferocious/ruthless/sadistic/inhuman/cold-blooded/anger/hissy fit/mad/rage/outrage/pique/infuriated/fury/indignated...
Time Check : 08:36am...
i gotta hit the shower now, i hv to follow Pop to purchase schbks for my bros!
i gotta hit the shower now, i hv to follow Pop to purchase schbks for my bros!
