Saturday, July 28, 2007
How Could You?
A man in Grand Rapids, Michigan took out a full page ad in the paper to present the following essay to the people of our community.
It really touched my heart and i hope it will yours too.
When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, age I became your best friend. Whenever I was ”bad,” you’d shake your finger at me and ask “How could you?”-but then you’d relent, and roll me over for a belly rub.
My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because “ice cream is bad for dogs,” you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.
Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comfort you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love. She, now your wife, is not a “dog person”-still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy.
Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a “prisoner of love.”
As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch-because your touch was now so infrequent-and I would have defended them with my life if need be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway
There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me.
These past few years, you just answered “yes” and changed the subject. I had gone from being “your dog” to “just a dog,” and you resented every expenditure on my behalf.
Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You’ve made the right decision for your “family,” but there was a time when I was your only family. I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said “I know you will find a good home for her.”
They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with “papers.” You had to pry your son’s fingers loose from my collar as he screamed “No, Daddy! Please don’t let them take my dog!” And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life. You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too.
After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good home.
They shook their heads and asked “How could you?”
They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you- that you had changed your mind-that this was all a bad dream … or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me.
When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited.
I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room.
She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days. As is my nature, I was more concerned about her.
The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood. She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured “How could you?”
Perhaps because she understood my dogspeak, she said “I’m so sorry.” She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn’t be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself-a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place. And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my “How could you?” was not directed at her.
It was you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of. I will think of you and wait for you forever.
May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty?
By Jim Willis 2001
A note from the author : If “How Could You?” brought tears to your eyes as you read it, as it did to mine as I wrote it, it is because it is the composite story of the millions of formerly owned pets who die each year in American and Canadian animal shelters. Anyone is welcome to distribute the essay for a non-commercial purpose, as long as it is properly attributed with the copyright notice.
Please use it to help educate, on your websites, in newsletters, on animal shelter and vet office bulletin boards. Tell the public that the decision to add a pet to the family is an important one for life, that animals deserve our love and sensible care, that finding another appropriate home for your animal is your responsibility and any local humane society or animal welfare league can offer you good advice, and that all life is precious. Please do your part to stop the killing, and encourage adoption.
** I wept everytime i read this article. Even in the near furure, if i were to read it again, it will still bring tears to my eyes. **
Saturday, July 21, 2007
oversized meow....
Fat cats cute? think again..
doesnt oni pose a prob to e cat but also to u.
just my 2 cents of worth thou...
U N T I T L E D
Sumtimes i just wanna run away from everything. Totally Everything.
I just wish all wud come to a stand-still. Everything will just stop.
At times i really feel like giving up on myself, on my surroundings, e pple(s) n everything lah.
I dun even noe now why im tryin so hard everyday. Strugglin so hard wen at e end of everything i noe its all gonna be futile.
Again, dats typical of me n e human race to be in self-delusion? Self-denial?
Oh well, maybe its just me.?
No matter what i do, or what i have done pple will never acknowledge. Not even in e near future. When things go wrong then that's when they push the whole thing right back at me, right into my face n still even have e cheek to tell me dat im e one responsible for it! Im e one in e wrong.
Humans... i think its just natural for them to see the gd thing but never remember it. But e moment u make a mistake or sum sort like one they will bloody hell remember u for it. They'll even marked u for dat stupid itsy bitsy teeny weeny tiny mistake u have done. Name me one person whu hadnt make a mistake in his life? I dare say there's no one. If there is, i'll gladfully bow down to him!
I admit my way of dealin with things may not be right, i never say i was in e first place even! I noe i deal with stuffs e harsh/hard way maybe becoz i tend to have e perception dat thru e hard/harsh way e msg will get across?
My intention was just so simple n yet it seems like pple are really makin a big fuss over it.
I always gets misintepretd anyway.
Whats e use of sayin sorry when major/critical damange has already been done?
Crime rates are sure gonna take a dip if sorry cud be use to settle everything.
Sum mistakes u done is just not as simple as sayin sorry, forgives den forget.
There's so much more to it.
all it just take is one for all to crumble. to be like totally disappointed in absolute everything.
Typin so much here aint gonna be of any help either.
Just helps me express stuffs dat i've been supressin.
More like im talkin to myself, coz aftr typin u read it back to yrself?
Everything is just SO .. .. ..
n fuck im havin a splitting headache yet again! sigh. what else is new?!
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Went to celebrate my bday at Powerhouse last wed.
Was awesomely superb with a capital S fun!
If not for the fact dat my dearest fren's sista's bf who is dead drunk, guess i wud have continue all e way to 6am!
N i still have to continue werking the next very day, was supposed to be on leave but.. at e last min leave was not approved! coz apparently my boss got guests frm taiwan coming over so not gonna be nice if main desk is empty, boss aint happy yada yada yada.. crappy shittos!
have to go thru lotsa hurdles to make e night happen!
after tonnes of planing, wen its nearing e day.. one by one i received news dat we not gonna make it.
Fren's mum din allow her to go, leave was cancelled, anothr fren werking n schoolin e next day n the list goes on...
But ultimately in e end, we still make it to e club.
had superb superb fun, vodka wasnt strong nuff to knock me over. 2 jugs at dat! guess im alcohol-immuned? If i cud down a bottle of dry gin by itself n still managed to go home stabily, den i suposed 2jugs of vodka is nuthin?
seriously, wat othr nice drinks are there at clubs to try out?
Suprisingly i still managed to get to werk e next day n still able to survive!
no bouts of accidentally sleepin or anythin at all!
i was expecting like im SO gonna be sleepy to e extend dat i may doze off at my desk, but heck not at all?!
i oni get to sleep like 2hrs perhaps?
well, i am a night owl afterall.. so this also goes to show dat now i can go party on every wed night n stilll carry on werkin e next day?! yipee!
n ida if u readin this, even after i became a teacher, i still am so gonna club on wkdays!
i will gv up my party scene for NO ONE!
thnk god i have a momma whu's not against at all of me clubbing.
ok nuff said abt clubs. i cud like go on n on like there's no 2mr wen it cums to clubbing. wat do ya xpect? im at the brink of tryin out anything! 20 is just e very beginning of all to come!
I seriously have a very VERY strong mind to take off with my present one. esp after e last recent wed incident! i do noe a num of pple who are in e same mind level as me.
Now im just wonderin why e hell am i still stayin on for?
not as if they gonna be grateful or thnkful for all i've done. come to think of it, have done nuthin spectacular to be boast abt? well, like i even bother?
well, lets just see wat's e outcome on e aug thingie?
ok am lazy to carry on..
gonna do sum researchin on wat other nice places to hit, nice stuffs to drink, relevant stuffs/props for my assignments, gd gd bright future rice bowl to goggle on n yada yada yada n yada yada yada...
okokok, im out of e building!
toodles pple!
so long n nights!
Monday, July 9, 2007
Birthday birthday
Well... its my 20th bday today.
Just like wat i expected. No birthday cakes, no bday songs, no presents.. except for 2.. one of which was frm my office colleague while the other was from my mum's bf. Just normal bday sms'es to me. Nothin xtraordinary! Oh well i have grown immuned to it anyway. i stopped receiving or shall i say pple stop giving me me presents, err abt 3-4yrs ago?
Evry year w/out fail i always have mixed feelings on/abt my bday. No idea why. Dun even bother asking me. Mix feeling as in 50% so lookin forward to it while e other 50% just dun wanna noe what's e day gona behold for me. It just sucks to come back home n yet to find pple reacting like its nuthin. no celebrations and all. N not to mention e part where i fucking have to werk on my fucking bday?! Who does dat? Oh well... atleast im still getiing paid for it!
On n yea, at sum time of e day - my bday, i always get all teary.. err is dat sucha a werd? tearful i suppose.. oh well.. wadever i SO dun care. dunneo why. Last yr i recall i cried. n this yr too! coz i was moved to tears by my momma's sms to me. It just touches my heart okay pple?!
turned 20 so fast! i still feel like im takin my N's this yr.. still feelin 16-17s.. haas.
20 yrs of living.. so much has happened, so much has changed. changed for e better n for e worst! had learnt soo much...brr... all in a twinkling of an eye!
okok.. stoppin now. Happy 20TH bday to me!!
like usual again, today will just past like any other day.
used to it by now! Im just SO looking forward to Wed night! LAdies, go get ready!
dat present my mum promised me which also happen to be e one dat im darn hopin/pinin for, i just wish she lives up to her werds! if she doesnt, no worries ma, i still fucking love u! sorry for the profanities if u happen to read this. hees = )
P/S : Frens of mine, if u can read this fine print, wat e fcuk u waiting for? where is it? go get dat present for me NOW! ASAP.! Need i go further? heehee
