First thing first, my mobile LCD is cracked!
But thnk god, the screen is still ok. One can look n tell that it's crack. It's obvious like that. Fortunately, there's no defectsyet



Months had passed.. Several months infact.
Had battled and still battling over frequent quarrels / fights / arguments daily.
I braved thru multiple obstacles.
Hurricanes of hurdles, we had stormed thru
Overcoming countless difficulties.
Bucketfuls of tears, that we shed - or rather ME, most of the time.

Talks / conversations that we had debated.
Hurling multiple harsh damaging words / names / profanities to one another.
Numerous topics had we unraveled.
The dreadful topics, those much-avoided subject, we are over n done with.
We had and are exploring possibilities.

Contaminated psychological mind-games, we defeated.
We triumphed over poisonous pple who brainwashed us and infiltrate our mind with lethal virus.

Mistakes that we done, and may have overlooked.
Sacrifices we had made, be it big or small.
Giving in when it's called for - even involuntarily at times..

Forgiving when the need arises - eventhou it seems hard to close one eye.
Motivating when we need each other's back.
Relyin on one another when the occasion calls for it.

Jealousy that lead us to nothing productive.
Anger that we caused/target to each other.
Sadness that we bring about to each other.
Happiness that we shared/created.
Anxiety that we caused each party.
Care & concern which we showered one another.

My strong brick wall of barricade that u break through.
My fears and worries which u took away.
My doubts that u clarify.
My "tiredness" which u transform to something positive.

Fond memories, which i hold on dearly.
Sweet, silly small acts that touched me tenderly.
Adoring words that are affectionate to me.


All of this .. where does it led me / you ? Us...?
Will it have a destination ?
What is in store ? What is at e end of the tunnel ?
Will there be a light shining at the end ?
Where is the end ? When is the end ? What is the end ?

Is this all worthwhile ?
Worth to stick it thru e end ?



Sometimes, i find im contradicting myself.
I said A, but i want B.
I do C, but i want D.
I guess, i am uncertain of what i want.

Its either i dont understand myself, or i dont understand u.

Im lying if i said, im not tired of all this.
Honestly speaking, i am DEAD exhausted.
Truth be told, I wanna throw in the towel n give up.

Someone told me... i like to take the easy n shortest way out. I gv up easily.
I dont bother to tackle e problem n all other shits.

But he dont realize, he plays a major part of why im reacting like such.
He fails to see that he's partly to blame for the action im taking.
In some occasions, wout him realizing, he himself caused the decision im making.

i try my utmost best not to blame him.
Cause like any others, including me, no less.. we sometimes fail to look at ourselves first. Its a habit to point the blame to the opposite party.

And when i opt out, I dont give up bcos i lost my fighting spirit n strength, but rather its bcos sometimes i feel, there's no point to carry on. I CHOSE to give up, coz i feel there's no more meaning to it. So since it no longer matters anymore, why bother holding on ?

However, more often then not, something abt him/us makes me wanna keep on trying.
Makes me wanna push myself.. jolt myself to keep it going.

Time n again, u never fail to bring me back when i voiced out to let go.
And each time, u succeed in bringing me back n making me stay.


At the end of evrything, i can only blame myself.
I wanted this. I chose this.
So i gotta take e good n e bad.
I only hv myself to blame for my predicament.