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i miss home sorely. my own home.
dont get me wrong im not implying that im not thankful to share a roof with my nenny n the whole lot of them. i love all of them. loads.
but when sometimes many becomes too many i bet u'll be feelin exactly what im feeling at this present moment.

i used to hate stayin at my parents 4-rm flat in Jrg west [which i also refer it as my home too] cos the house feels way tooo big for me.. i dread coming home to a big, quiet home. During the times i stayed there, my parents are mostly out workin all the time or either they are out social networkin. i dont blame them, honestly. just that it gets so freaky bored doin nothin at home but just facing my PC all day long.

And during that time my bros were still very small and of course having both parents workin day in day out they resort to employin a domestic worker to help looked after my bros n do the house cleaning n such.

and me, will spent time loiterin around with my friens, goin over their house or they coming over my house. all of my secondary school years are simply wasted like that. rather then go for supplementary classes or muggin together we'll be at the mall. or shopping ard all wasting our time.

i used to envy those living at with nennny's. her house is always SO filled with pple living there. there's never a day where nenny's house will be so damn quiet. its always happening. plus she got all the stuffs there. cable, Internet u name it she got it. Not that we dont have it at my home either, but somehow all those stuffs loses its appeal to me while im home. coz bottom line is im freaky fucking bored!

so things took a change. im like shuffling between my nenny's n my own. cos being at the tender age of 13-17 i was like any other rebellious teen. having arguements with my parents, mum namely. i dont like having lengthy conversations with her, not wanting to share whatever dats happening in my life ranging from bf issues to friends/academic issues n etc.

but thank god after the divorce me n dear mama was SO SO close back together. i could talk to her on anything under the skies. i not only look upon her as my mum now but also a fren, a counsellor, a confidante n etc. e divorce did hv sum gd effect afterall. haa

so im like living 3 days at nenny's and the remaining 4 days at my own abode.
of it'll be like wkdays at nenny's n wkends at my parents.
i like that arragement as i have the best of both worlds.

so eventually my parents got separated as in divorce
[which so happen when i was takin my fucking GCE 'N' Levels! i'll be lyin if i say it didnt totally affect me. i was like very fucking emotional, one moment cryin, the the next im like all ok dont let this whole thing get to me n stuffs. cos at that point of time i fail to see why or how my parents marriage has gone awry. seriously at that point of time i was an emotional wreck]
so by right they have to sell the matrimonial house but up to date they have not done so as they say property prices are very unpredictable and they dont wanna suffer a loss by having to come up with cash even when they wanna sell e house away. then, from then till today they have been renting the house, and both parties get equal share of e rent but somehow dear mama always managed to keep daddy's share as well. maybe Pop willingly let her keep the rent all to herself, cos afterall she n dear mama goes way long back.

From the divorce date, its been decided that me n my bros will have to move in with nenny officially. i was happy cos all was goin indeed very well. i mean i get to go back as late as i want up till 4-5am wout my mum naggin at me n such, no one to stop me from doin anything like hitting the clubs at age 16 or any other stupid foolish silly stufss which i had done back then. its like whoa! finally im free on adult supervision, not totally free. but atleast free from momma. n u know how its been said that grandparents are always more supportive n sportin to let u give a shot at anything which is in another way of saying : u wanna try, then go for it. when u taste the medicine of it den blame yrself. u had it coming. while with e parents its always : no way no go, u SO cant do that. ive been thru dat, n done that n now i wudnt want u to be following in my stupid steps n let history repeat itself. n being a teenager, curious to try everything, i ofcoz prefer nenny to parents.

so initially all was ok. we had fun. total madness. coz at dat time there were only like 3 pple living with nenny - herself, my 5th aunt n my 2nd uncle.
then after we move in it became a whopping 7 pple - nenny, aunt, uncle, me, 2 bros n e domestic worker.
[i cant recall if out domestic worker was sent back or her contract has already ended, but e domestic worker dat was then living with us was under my nenny employment cos my nenny said an extra pair of hands will do her good, plus its gonna help dear mama save up ALOT too]
then somehow along the way my 1st aunt got divorced too so.. so e statistics of pple living with us escalated. her kids move in with us while she try to see if she can get any place to rent n such. so from 7 pple, add another 3... so that equals up to 10 pple!
i tell ya having 10 pple living with us is total madness. i did mention rite, thay my mum put up at her friend while my dad move back in to my paternal gramps. while my 1st aunt move in with her fren as well.

so most of the nights with all my sassy,cranky n not to mention crazy cousins n 5th aunt we of course did not sleep. we waste the night laffing away, tellin stories, pouring out woes n of coz gloat at each other same fate. haa! man.. those were the nights! with so many pple cramped up in such a small house, absolute crazyness!
did i also mention dat nenny is living in a 3-rm flat? which so happen to be a 15mins away from town, esplanade, city n etc. man, what cud we bloody hell ask for.?

the things took another change.. my cuzzys were back living with my 1st aunt. after all her divorce proceeds the court rule that she get to keep the matrimonial house. so her kids are back in tow with her.
and from there things slowly start changing for the worst. pple at nenny house changed which is very UNEXPECTED of the said person, became 2-faced, hypocrites, back stabbing. lotsa family politics n such. and my stuff was being rummaged now n then. things are constantly lost but we cant blame anybody cos there's too many pple in the house. so we'll just have to shrug it off. no other option left. n we have occasional miscommunication, arguements, dont see eye-to-eye on matters, but the occasional is very fast changing to almost so frequently now.

Gone are the days where my cuzzys n my 4th aunt [she's only 3-4 yrs my senior so that makes her in our clique] will get highly intoxicated every wkends spending the nite sitting n talking shit at the esplanade, town, lucky plaza all wasted away. oh, how i miss all those nights. now.. its even so impossible. cos 4th aunt is already engaged n other cuzzys are way too busy to be spending time around cuzzys anymore coz bfs/gfs or friends have since taken up top-notch 1st priorty from cousins

then my 4th uncle return home after like 3-4 yrs awy from us so now we're back with 10 pple yet again.

n im slowly thinking of all the stuffs i used to have at my Jrg west house.
where i have my own wardrobe, own dress-up table, own room, own bed all solely all mine.
the wide vast space i used to have.. - living in a 3-rm flat with 10 pple, i tell ya space is a premium!
toilets all to myself. tables to lay my perfumes, begs my own book shelves my own drawer where i locked all my stuffs.

sigh.. now suddenly i yearn to go back to that big, quiet empty house which i used to shun back then.
typical isnt it, only when u lost something then will u start tresurin n cherishing it. n same theory apply to people too. lost someone den act all frantic panicky realise the mistakes yada yada yada... crap shits.
Cancel the hari raya entry. am too lazy to write all the details on it. like every other year.. had fun..heaps of laughter. n more camwhoring. but before all e fun sets in, of coz we had the annual forgiving session. very the soapy gitu loh.. n touching...dats for sure!

lotsa other details as well.. but as i said i let lazyness get the better of me. haa.

well well.. boredom strikes me again at the wkends. im dying to hit the freakin clubs.. but everyone is so up to the neck with their own activities.. sigh!

recently, am very addicted to donuts.. dear mama got a few for me.. they are to die for man!

*If u could excuse the choc-strawberry donut. cant resist but to take a bite first. hee*

oh did i mention i got a new gadget to fiddle ard with. Pop got me my dream SonyEricsson W580i. Lucky aint i? haa.. the hp is so interesting n not to mention cool i just need to shake to shuffle the songs in my MP3. freakin cool i tell ya. thnks Pop for the new hp!

have been feedin myself to the books alot lately. im so addicted to the books n library now. have been going there almost on every Sat. Oh i also have ordered Catherine Anderson's Phantom Waltz. thank god the supplier in sg still has it thou. i so cant wait for her coulter-harrigan series which is coming out on Jan 2008.

dear mama n brother weiwei bday is coming. Gosh! November is a month where im gonna be squeeze DRY after buying all those bday presents.

i cant wait for 10th of Nov to arrive.. im gonna have a reunion with my ex-SQS gerls.. its been a whopping 4 yrs since i last saw them! of coz there are a few who cant make it. just make the best out of the situation.

and today ive done it again - edit my layouts again. took me countless hours. still a newbie what, so what do ya expect?!

ive run out of stuffs to yak about...

so im signin off..

toodles!
The holy month, Ramadan has past. The month which is said to be a testing month where u’re faced with obstacles, hurdles to overcome. N like every other Ramadan most of my Muslim counterparts will be thronging Geylang Serai... but this yr somehow Geylang took a step back for me. Even I can’t believe it that i myself went there for a mere 2-3 times... N the very unlikely of me... I didn’t even went on the eve of raya which is on the Friday night. When every yr I make it a MUST to go there... the best part is, this freaking yr we have had transport to go... but we chose not to... no idea why... maybe Geylang lose its appeal alr to me or simply maybe i’ve outgrown the phase of going to geylang for the sake of .. .. Ermm... going?


On the eve of raya its extremely crucial n damn vital that we stay at home cause as girls we NEED to help out our dear mamas with the cooking n etc.. Like putting up the curtains or any last min touch-ups. N it’s been said that it’s a taboo for a female I mean a young teenage female to be at the bazaar till the wee hours. No idea how true it’s that, mum has been telling me dat for god-damn how many yrs! But thank god I’ve alr broke out of the NEED-TO-STAY-AT-HOME cycle... no idea myself why too lotsa pple dying to go Geylang bazaar at the eve of it. I mean, those that really should n need to go are the makciks right?


Why? – U may ask... Cause on the eve is the night where prices go dirt cheap! Say like from $80-$100 n on the eve u could get it at abt $20-$30? A gd catch right? N I presume for the youngsters, it definitely have to be crowd... the mats2 n minahs2... i notice usually at this time of the year youngsters look forward to geylang because they know they will be exchanging nums with pple there. They’ll get hooked up. N trust me, not wanting to sound boy-crazy here but seriously, no kidding during that time of the yr n at that place is the place where u can meet gorgeous, beautiful, stunning, hot, handsome, pretty, cute guys n girls. Well, been there done that okay? But I got to mention there are also the opposites who think likewise..


Personally for myself on why I look forward to Geylang is because I look forward to bump into old friends, old bfs, old school mates, old enemies n the likes of it. At that time of the yr Geylang is also like THE place to re-connect or re-kindle with past ones... a gd place to do some social networking! Although I don’t deny the masses of the crowd kind of appeal to me too. C’mon, who we kidding? The eyes like seeing nicey2 stuffs. I know I know beauty is in the eye of beholder but so far I have not come across an individual who said he/she doesn’t like looking at beautiful pple/stuffs. But of course it also has it downside which to me is too many pple crowding the small tiny place/shop/walkway. Not to mention u brush arms with the sweaty, BO-filled pple. Urgh~... i hv learnt the hard way now. If u dun wish to face the downside then avoid them. Avoid Geylang unless u die2 have to. Then again yr fasting month n Hari Raya will never be complete if u didn’t step feet in Geylang at least once. Never.


So this yr, I did the very unlikely. I did the opposites. I actually stayed at home n help out dear mama n nenny with the cooking. Filial right? Thank you, I know. Hee. Dear mama couldn’t take leave so I help her out after she knocks off. Initially I didn’t want to render my help as I’m lazy to get my butt moving again. I’m on annual leave okay? I want to spend the whole day doing nothing! But... right from the hour i woke up im alr hot on my heels. I of course helped dear mama but only after I finished watching my daily doses of Mimpi Manis. And at the end of it, what do I gain or get? Yellow stains on fingers, nails all from cutting dat darn turmeric. N not to mention teary-weary eyes form peeling n slicing the stupid onions. Well I had fun too. Heaps of them actually. And I got to mention, the annual habit of dear mama came back! She’s at it again. Can u believe she threw away a WHOLE BIG pot of Lemak..?! All because it spill n she got all so freaking pissed that no one was at the kitchen tending to it. Well well, don’t blame me. I wasn’t slacking. I was at the Hall helping her changing the cushion covers.


If there’s anyone who deserves the blame, it has got to be dear mama boyfriend. He wasn’t helping at all. Didn’t even have the initiative to lift a finger! Damn it! I was silently cursing myself, why the hell did I even bother to help, when it’s his house that we’re fucking cleaning n decorating?! When he himself couldn’t be bother. But I do it on the accord of dear mama. All I can say is he’s not as hands on as my pop. Claims he’s sick, but god knows how true that is. Oh well who care 2 hoots abt him either. N guess what, maybe he hasn’t gotten to know much about us women after all, who doesn’t know that when we are freaking mad we don’t actually meant the stuffs we say. More like we letting off steam?


But He actually took it for real when dear mama asked him to throw away the WHOLE Pot? Or maybe he actually did it to spite dear mama or maybe he’s testing or challenging dear mama patience. Well to hell with it. Could be bothered to address this kind of issue, it’s not even my issue to begin with. I trust dear mama judgement. If she’s happy with him den gd for her. If she doesn’t, well she aunt got nothing to lose either if he or she drops the other party. All I can say is she doesn’t understand dear mama as well as how pop understand her


N again, typical of me, like the usual, I cried upon hearing the Takbir. Don’t ask me why, but every year the Takbir always have that effect on me. It always makes me feel thankful to Allah for the surroundings, for letting me celebrate yet another HAri Raya with my love ones.


Ok I think I have type long nuff to satisfy my loyal readers. Hah. I will jot down another entry sooonnn on my first day of celebrating hari raya.


Till then. So long n nitey2.


Signing off..,


Thou-who-shall not leave her name.
[heha... bear with me okie, I’m feeling a lil bit of harry potter now... all thanks to SCV for repeating HP n goblet of fire over n over again. Hee]
Words of wisdom for today is :

Allah will not give obstacles/hurdles above his slave ability

again... i rcvd this at my frenster bulletin.. think its sorta true..

1. Fine:
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes:
If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around thehouse.

3. Nothing:
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead:
This is a dare, not permission. Don'tDo It!

5. Loud Sigh:
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men.A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. That's Okay:
This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man.That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks:
A woman is thanking you, do no tquestion, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

8. Whatever:
Is a women's way of saying Fcuk U!

9. Don't worry about it, I got it:
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?"For the woman's response refer to #3.

My cyber ranting grounds, enuff said.
People who mind don't matter and people who matter don't mind ツ ツ

TAGGED ------ MULTIPLY

1. Conclusion
2. lost - confused
3. burned-out
4. summary - short one
5. 2010
6. reply
7. Saturday at Grandlink / bastardised ?
8. Baobei !
9. untitled
10. it continues..

Lookin back ..

1. April 2007
2. May 2007
3. June 2007
4. July 2007
5. August 2007
6. September 2007
7. October 2007
8. November 2007
9. December 2007
10. January 2008
11. February 2008
12. March 2008
13. April 2008
14. May 2008
15. June 2008
16. July 2008
17. August 2008
18. September 2008
19. October 2008
20. November 2008
21. December 2008
22. May 2009
23. June 2009
24. July 2009
25. August 2009
26. December 2009
27. January 2010
28. February 2010
29. March 2010
30. April 2010

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