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Shoo-shoo cuppa coffee! Redbull has now officially replaced u.
Ive been sleeping at e wee hrs for the whole of this week. And the way I sees it, this sleeping pattern will be staying with me for quite some time.

The eye rings or eye bags – (whichever applies) have gotten a whole LOT more worst!I realised that im applying more of the normal that I used to take. I wouldn’t be surprised if people were to start calling me Panda soon. With barely 4hrs of sleep every night, I really do look like a nightmare when I see myself in the mirror every morning.

Without the concealor and Redbull, or course, I think people don’t hv to dress up as zombies for Halloween. I am already literally a walking zombie as it is. And that reminds me, Happy Halloween All!

Btw, im feeling very musical this week. So thought to share a lil something.



Last nite saw me sleeping at 3++am. All because i was too engrossed chattin online at MSN with W---- and O--. Too engrossed to notice the time ticking away. Finally i relent n retreat for the nite at about 2+. But after i log off n shut down my notebook, my cell start blasting awy. Left me wondering who would be callin me in the wee hrs on a wknite.

Turns out it was F--. So we chatted for quite a while. a while which lasted till 3am. So as a result, this morning i was a walking zombie in the office. thnk god for the coffee, redbull n msgs that i get frm 'em to perk me up.

With merely 2hrs of shuteye, i was pretty cranky this morning. Funny thou, i am able to wake up without so much of a trouble. I was like expressionless or emotionless for the first few hrs in the office.

Due to incessant shopping, the amt in my savings acct now has depleted to a very RED warning amt. I think i wanna take up classes in finance mgmt. is there any, btw?
fucking stupid Diners card chose to decline on me when i need it the most. But to see it in another way, that is kinda good actually. So atleast i know i wont hv outstandings to clear at e end of e mth.
I didnt leave office till 430pm last Sat, and that totally sucks big time!
The good point is that Ive finally cleared my Piping's dept! WuhoO!
Booked a cab cause i dont wanna be late, but managed to hitched a ride in a colleague's car.
Thnk god for that. Save up more time n not to mention the moolahs as well Hee!

Freshen myself in a jiffy, grabbed a cab and head to Clarke Quay. Made my way to Fish Market Manhattan. Food was ok. Nothing really much to rave on it. Company was great. As usual, laughter n more laughters thruout the nite. Confessions n sharing the dark secrets on my part. Lending a pair of listening ears on hers.

Catched HSM 3 on Sunday w Mom and my bros. Kinda sad to know that this is the last of HSM. I am and always will be a BIG fan of HSM. Troy Bolton is like so freaking handsome in HSM 3 ok? Finally, managed to try out the BBQ chix that ive always wanted. And my judgement was proven right. Delectable, i tell ya!

Somewhere along the 2 nights, i managed to steal some time n squeeze an outing out w him.
Didnt go anywhere wonderful, just chilling ard and more baring of the souls. Haa. More talking n talking. He bought me desert. I suggest we go this place that I ever went to. Same place but different companion this time. Had oodles of fun! Date Outing was merely hours but i felt like we've been out for the whole day. =D

Before he send me off, he asked me this :

Him : 5yrs dwn the road or in the near future, do u see yrself getting hitched happily sweetheart?
Me : ermmm.. cant really say. Hard to predict. Dont know myself.
Moments of silence .. .. then
Me : why do u ask?
Him : because i see myself a part of yr future already.
Me : (0_0) *shocked expression* Where, how n why do u fit in?
Him : i will, trust me. U'll see. No, we shall see. WE, not only u. Told u, i already see myself in u.

With nothing to say, i just smiled n start diverting his attn to other things.

After him diverting his attn to othr things just to pacify me or to lemme have the thinking that he already forget abt the whole thing, he then -

Him : Why do u keep running awy from the topic?
Me : *Quiet thruout, just smiles.*

So tell me, how do i react or answer to this situation?
For the first time ever after I joined KSG, today marks the first Saturday that I will be doing OT. And no, its not because I am in need of extra moolahs but rather I don’t wanna bring back the work to home.

However, if I cant complete it by latest 3pm today, what other option have I got but to bring back the darn file n complete it at home? Very sad indeed but I havent got other options. Yes I know, I can come back on Sun or even on the Mon PH to continue doing, but I rather do free labour and not having the company to pay me the hrs cause the thought of making my way back to the yard on my own transport is enough to make me cringe.

They do provide transport too on Sundays n PHs but u have to get up freaking early like yr normal pick up transport hrs. Which is at 0600am! So I prefer to sleep in n do free labour at my own timing then to wake up as early as that on Sundays n PHs.

Plus im left with only about 30 to 40-ish workers, so hopefully if all goes well, I am able to finish up that Piping dept by today itself!

2nd Boss dropped me some hints yesterday on the big B. All I can say is, WHOA! *Insert huge, HUGE smiley faces here*

Oh, and before I forget, Fish Market Manhattan, here I come today!
PS : - Wait for me, if im late, will u? I try my utmost best not to be thou.

I have to clear 50+ workers in a short span of 2hrs 2mr. I might as well just bunk in, in the office already! Even if im gonna OT till as late as 9pm, i doubt i can clear all of it. And im only talking abt 1 dept here! I still have like 6,7 or more depts to go - depends on if the Boss had already cleared any / other depts. And the deadline to submit all this is 10Nov. !!!!

From the looks of it, i am predicting that my Boss is definitely gonna ask me to OT on Sat, come back on Sun and expect to come back on Monday as well. And on top of that, after the PH, chances are, i may need to put in extra hrs till 9, cause i still hv 2 overdue pending THICK piles of Certificates that need to be zapped, filed n pass back to the respective persons. Inches thick ok pple!


I am munching on Chwee Kueh and sipping on Teh Tarik now as im typing this. And at the same time, compiling my manpower report.

So, Mom’s birthday is coming up is less then 2weeks. And I still have yet to round down my choices or even have anything on my list on what to get her. Buying presents for Mom have to be done meticulously. She is afterall the MOM. U want nothing but the absolute best for her. Ok, think I better get down to draft the list now.



I left my precious glasses at the office. Great, just exactly what i need!
So now, im squinting and straining my eyes while typing all this out.

Funny how some people dont feel the pinch when it comes to paying for stuffs they dont supposedly need.
Funny how they can immediately have the money ready when it comes to this. - we are not talking abt just measly dollars or hundreds here. We're talking abt freaking Ks here, allrite?!
Funny how they will go to all lengths, will gain as much sympathy when they are in need of moolahs, but when it comes to this, the funds are all set up and go!
Funny how one willing to scrimp on crucial vital stuff yet when it comes to this, one willingly gv the cash like one is a fucking billionaire.
Funny how one would rather be swallowed by chockful of debts, but have no qualms on paying for things that are not a must.
Funny how one dont understand, that this is just a privilege


Havent they heard of the saying that one shouldnt hope for beyond one's means?

Then again, we all know that this is all in the name of "face" or pride isnt it?
Why would one resort to this? I truly dont understand.
Havent we all left the century of 'whatever-u-hv, i-must-hv-too' ?

Arent we all mature and adult enought to stop playing this silly game?

No doubt, i too want this as well. I have already make it known.
But i do knoe what are my priorities.
And i very well do not exceed my own budget.
No i wont stoop to that just to snag the title of Ms-Have-It-All.
Just becoz othrs have it, that doesnt mean i too MUST have it. Whats the big deal anw?
And i am not hard up for it as well. Why push yrself when you know its not withing yr means?
Nobody demands u to do it now. Nobody force u at any gunpoint and insist u do it now.

But then again. Like as if we all dont know, u are so, SO used to spoon-feeding.
Or rather, u work yr ways n words up to be sponsored n spoon-fed.
Even now, wout having to wreck my brains, i can easily name u more then 3 examples.

With age, experience as wisdom n high education to back u up, i kinda pity u that yr thinking are still very shallow.
And i very well despite the fact that u took advantage of surroudings, situation, people for yr own gain. Little wonder u always seems to have it all together. It becoz u resort to this underhand, despicable way.

This, coming out of a 21yr old girl, to someone who is very much her elder, doesnt that shame u? Not even a wee bit? tsk! tsk! tsk!

The stomach has now switched to Rhythm & Blues.
Yours Truly cant concentrate on compiling all those darn reports now.
Tummy, i heard u allrite! So, shut up already.

With the heavy rain now, that just makes me much more hungrier. Pfft!
Thus the need to blog and distract my mind from thinking of all the delectable yummy food. I am salivating already oke?!


And sadly, there's no great lunch partner for today.


" .. Was a real treat talking to you just now. I could just see your face and big smile .. "
" Was just thinking of you and hope you had a great day. Don't party too hard. Oh, take good care of mom too. "

Now, since when did u start calling Mom, Mom? Trying to stable your grounds alr, Mr? Haaa!

Anyways, I am still very happy over last Fri. Workers / expats or anyone who make / receive international oversea calls from him/her, i truly feel u man! Really, i do. Cause Yours Truly have just got a taste of it. Or rather, a feeling of it.
Freaking thousand miles away n bloody hours behind, but somehow he never fails to be there.
It kinda soothes and touches the heart to know that he still is as enthusiastic and optimistic abt this whole thing. My initial thoughts were really miles apart from whatever is happening now. This is way beyond expectation.

Over the last 2 days, i have been on a shopping trip. And i didnt managed to get the things that i want. So, i made some other purchases instead. I combed the whole of Orchard on Sat and spent hours at the BIG vivoCT on Sunday, but still the shopping centers / stores fail me. Dejected n disappointed, i was. Sigh.

To make things worst,the Flu & Sorethroat pays me a visit last night and decide to stay for quite a while.
To further aggravate things, Mr Thin aka Specky wont be ard 2mr. Gg for check up, he said. No boss = MORE work for me. Monday blues, dont hit me 2mr, will u? Sympathise me on the acct that im sick oke?

To make up for all this, Yours Truly went on a arcade-gaming spree. And believe me, it really does help. Well, for me, it does. Cant assure the same goes for others. Maybe i should start considering on making him an arcade freak like me too, eh? So that way, i have a gaming partner n he too could abandon all thoughts abt going frm Changi to BirdPark? I swear i could die already from over-sweating n the sweltering scorching hot sun in 15mins time. =D

So, Ive signed up for StarHub Plug & Play MaxMobile. Using it now to for the net. Superbly good. Unlike other telcos, this offers u the REAL deal of broadband. No cap on your usage. Now, thats real, REAL broadband ok! Ok, enuff of free publicity n promoting.

On a much happier note, Mom's discharged as of last Fri. No more to Mt Elizabeth daily after work. She's able to walk ard, but on a slower pace.




He never fails to surprise me, really.
He makes me feel exceptionally wonderful n always put a wide smile on my face.
He gives me the feeling im on top of the world or rather, the world is at my fingertips!

Still, its gonna be a very long wait.
But, patience pays. And rewards come for those who awaits.




" Aini, We are just getting started on the levels,, smile....this elevator goes all the way to the top with a stop on the best floors....hehehe.... "

And u, Mr, u signify trouble for me. But trouble that i want myself involve in.

PS : - he's gonna honour my real-silly request! Wuhhoo! *HUGE SMILE*

PPS : The other keeps explaining same issues yet again. Tell me, should i gv him the benefit of the doubt again?

and btw, this lyric feels so damn right. Very self-explanatory.




i know that : -

• this is not what i really want in the long run, thou i dont deny that the possibilities are so very tempting.
• this spells TROUBLE for me with all caps lock, no less.
• i am landing myself in hot soup.
• i am giving myself unnecessarily worries / problems.
  
• that i've done the impossible.
• this is all-so-wrong but yet so thrilling.
  
• And for the record, i know that I've done something forbidden.

Thou i must admit that : -

• i just wanna have my fair share of fun.
• i am enjoying myself silly now.
  
• i just wanna live for the moment.
• he does gives me that much-needed assurance.
  
• i dont wanna think of all the tough times that lies ahead.
• i am not heeding any good advice IRT this, period.

And i must confess : -

• it kinda scares me to speculate where this would brings me in the end and how it all will end up.
• It gets pretty nerve-wrecking to think of what im getting myself into now.
• that i already knew, this will get nowhere.
• And yes i am very well aware that it wont last, thank u.
  

But i couldnt help asking : -

• what if i cant come to terms with it?
• will i be able to live by my words or rules that ive set myself?
• how assured can i really get? - words are still plain words at e end of the day.
  

He said : " U're a mess but in a great way. And sometimes the mess-ier it get, the better it will be. "

Does he really know what is he getting himself into and what is he landing me? i think, likewise he too must have been totally swooned by all this.

A chummy friend said : ' Though yr head is up in the clouds, just dont forget that yr feet still belongs on rough soils of earth. '

And i must really say, its so damn easy to forget about all this and get big-headed.







Today, Yours Truly is feeling kinda weepy a lil bit. You see, someone who makes me look forward coming work to, is gonna be gone for 1month. Full 30 days.

And over the last few days, i can safely say we have bond quite a bit. Looking back, only God n close ones knows how crazily he had "took" over my life and thoughts back then. But now, I have alr decide to back off on him, cause i had finally looked beyond it. Think we would be much better off remaining as friends and not more then that. Finally the good sense in me kicked in. I figure, it would only complicate matters if i decide to pursue further.

God is truly putting me thru many tests right now. Just when i had already decide that im good this way w him, he himself had to come over n tell me stuffs which i wished he would be telling me back then when i am having those forbidden hots for him.

By right, he should not even be coming over to meet me anymore cause he had officially hand over his job temporarily to someone else. Today he came over thrice. Coming over 3x in a day is prolly a lil too much isnt it? Especially when his dept is short-handed. The 3rd time he came, he bid me his final adieu. Telling me to wait patiently for his return, telling me he will be missing me, telling me to expect some gifts from him from his origins. And many other stuffs which i am not comfortable penning it dwn here. Somehow it gv me the impression, like suddenly now, im his gf? Its more then just a normal goodbye, we both knew it. Its difficult to put in into words. The presense, the air, the surrounding, the gaze, the words, the touch. He leaves me all perplexed.

I mean, what's all this? Why is this only happening now? Like as if i am not troubled enuff w 2 on hand, now a third has made known his interest, express stuffs which he shouldnt. Especially after he had shown me his gf's pic just barely 24hrs ago.

Someone close to me said this : " Enjoy it while it last."
Maybe i should really loosen up, let my hair down, stop thinking so much n have my fair share of fun. I mean, what's e worst that could happen? I jolly am well prepared for the worst. I know stuffs or more precise, moments like this are only short-lived. And im very well aware of the consequences that i may need to face. All the aftermath of it.

Now, im just gonna shut everything else, turn a blind eye n a deaf ear n enjoy basking in these moments. Procrastinating or even pondering isnt gonna help at all, not even a wee bit. So why even bother to put yrself thru all these turmoil? Afterall, i hv already went overboard, over the line, over the limits, passing all the boundaries which i knew i shouldnt. So how much worst can it really get if i carry on w these mistakes..
If u wanna go dwn, u might as well go down all the way.

Somehow, wout me realising it, my mindset, mentality have already accustomed itself to this.

On a whole lighter note, my boss is away on leave for 1 full week! Weehee!

Ultimately, i opened up to Momma, i told her almost the whole truth, thou i dont deny i hold back some, prolly abt 20% of the whole thing. And after hearing what hv she gotta say, it really makes me feel very, and i really mean VERY relieved. It kinda shocked me atfirst to hear her reply but i am thankful for her being so understanding, flexible, accommodating.

Moving on, i learnt about someone's dark, very dark secret today. A secret that really didnt come across my mind at all. Somehow, she didnt appear to be that kinda person. Then again, what difference does that make me from her?

Before i penned off, i finally saw his gf! He literally showed me the "not-so-bad-looking" gf at his mobile, out of his own accord. I must say, i was abit dissapointed w his choice. Erm, cruel truth to be told, not abit but a WHOLE lot dissapointed. Well, Not that he need approval on my part or anywhere near there thou. And neither am i implying that i am better looking then the gf, but he could have someone better. Honestly! Then again, Love is blind they said. If he's happy then i figure that's all that matters. He really do love the gf thou, i can see it from the way he talks abt their rship n abt her. And, funny how now when he talks abt it, i seems to be ok to lend a pair of very willing ears. Maybe because i have other pressing matters or other distractions sitting ard in my mind now.

The date with Mr R has been set! *wide smile* He came to me this afternoon and apologised. It didnt strike me that he was referring on last Sat's supposed date. I was kinda lost atfirst, but after he start mentioning abt he stood me up and etc .. den finally i piece it up all together. Not really putting hopes on this thou, he does have a slight tendency to go missing. So im going with the flow now.

Im feelin like Heaven is really a place on earth now.
Btw, i finally have realised, truly realised n understand that phrase now. When people (s) used to tell me abt it, i was really clueless and was thinking what exactly seems to be e big deal. But now, after experiencing it first hand, damn, that phrase cudnt be more then accurate! I so agree with it, like really totally!

My cyber ranting grounds, enuff said.
People who mind don't matter and people who matter don't mind ツ ツ

TAGGED ------ MULTIPLY

1. Conclusion
2. lost - confused
3. burned-out
4. summary - short one
5. 2010
6. reply
7. Saturday at Grandlink / bastardised ?
8. Baobei !
9. untitled
10. it continues..

Lookin back ..

1. April 2007
2. May 2007
3. June 2007
4. July 2007
5. August 2007
6. September 2007
7. October 2007
8. November 2007
9. December 2007
10. January 2008
11. February 2008
12. March 2008
13. April 2008
14. May 2008
15. June 2008
16. July 2008
17. August 2008
18. September 2008
19. October 2008
20. November 2008
21. December 2008
22. May 2009
23. June 2009
24. July 2009
25. August 2009
26. December 2009
27. January 2010
28. February 2010
29. March 2010
30. April 2010

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