Its been one hell of a month after my last entry. I promise this will be a short one.

How strong yr willpower, determination n yr co-operation is, in making this all worthwhile, plays a very crucial vital part.

For now, thank god, we still are on the same path together.

I dont deny there have been many a times where i let my anger n emotions get the better of me. I let them rule my head n the end result is, me throwing in the towel. Me giving up. I told n forced myself to be cruel n cold-blooded. I told him straight in the face, THIS IS IT. THIS MARKS THE END. I am no longer interested to carry on arguing or to put up a fite for us, for it leads to nowhere. I dont wish to continue or to keep holding on. This doesnt holds any meaning. Its pointless n meaningless. Im oh-so dead sick tired. I no longer want anythink anymore. But one way or another, we managed to overcome it. When my attitute is like a son-of-a-bitch farker, like a firemen, he's there to douse the fire.

So Yours Truly told him, we dont live to please others, so why fark bother abt them.. The bad side of him, pple will see, remember it for life n it will always be a gd n constant topic at pple's mouth. But, the good n sweet side of him, pple can never get to see them.. He seldom display it publicly, u see. Plus there isnt a need for him to show it to others. Thats why n how it lead to pple having negative tots. But all of these are not impt to me, cos at the end of the day, i know what's really goin on btwn us and thats all that matter. Pple can throw all allegations on him, but ultimately, what i say/think holds the heaviest weight n have the final say, isnt it ? Dont understand, why is he letting this affect him big time. Reacting exageratingly as if he commit murder and is about to be given the death sentence.

i now have a guy calling me! A guy ok, readers. Yes, u read that rite. A GUY, for farksake. This is something new, shocking, unexpecting and worth talking about. This guy told me, Penpen was doing things behind my back at that said current time n now he's at some hotel having a jolly fun time with some bitch. The guy who called, claimed that, he dun wanna see me gettin hurt by Penpen, he treat me as a fren so he dun want me to be foolishly fooled n cheated upon. The best part is, few minutes before the call came, Penpen rang me up n we talked for abit. Haa.

I honest to god, dunno why is all this happening. Im unable to figure out why there are so many pple trying to drive us apart. A hotstuff casanova like him who hv many female frens, someone who hv history of toyin with gerls feelings, one who has a reputation of smashing we girls heart to pieces.. yea i knew all dat.. So wats e big deal ?? I am one who like to experience things for myself. Seeing is believing, they said. In this case, experiencing is believing. I chose to take e risk, so here i am facing n dealing all this squarely with an open, justified n sane mind. Im receiving with wide open arms, whatever that may come my way. :) I wish to take the fall myself, so when in future, when i looked back, i know that this scar is the cause of my own undoing n my very own firm decision. Something that i wanted to back then. To me, personally thats drives a better n much more embedded lesson that way.

I just cudnt help wonderin how this pple managed to lay their hands on my hp num, my name n all those other info.

U guys n gerls can keep on tryin. Dont give up ok darls. Put more effort into it n try harder. Cause now whatever u are doing, its not enuff to bring me down. I dont even falter or wobble. Hmm..., On acct that im such a selfless person, someone who is magnanimous n benevolent, i shall pray for yr success. See, I am big-hearted, like that. Hopefully u wont take centuries to succeed. Muahahhahahah!

Trust between one another is crucial.
Without trust, u dont have anything.
The above line should be more den sufficient to deliver my point.

Here's how it goes :: After we had dinner at Swensen IMM, we window-shopped for awhile. Told him i wanted to go to mini toons to look at some stuffs. Went in, saw the life-size bear of Strawberry Shortcake. My top numero uno favourite cartoon character ! Randomly told him, i want that. I wanted to buy it. Approached the sales girl, asked the price n etc. So was told that that bear had already been reserved. Saw the mini-bolster n again, me acting like a spoilt brat, wanting to buy. Penpen refrained me frm doing so, saying its a waste of money, im alr so old to be playin with dolls n bears. I got pissed off, scolded him saying that, its not as if i asked him to buy for me. Then, dunnoe why n for wat purpose, he went over n spoke to the salesgirl, i was still pissed off, i cudnt be bothered with him, so i continued to look at the other stuffs.

We then continued to window-shopped some more. Made some rounds here n there. Oohh, aaahhhh over some items. Then we proceed to make our way back home. Stopped at the smoking corner for a smoke, then tadahhh!!!! Dats when he took out the Mini-Toons plactic bag n gave it to me. I was dumfounded, astounded and in total shock n awe. Whatever that's inside, it gotta be my fav character. After opening it, I dunno how to react, i cudnt get myself to face him. all e way i just went : - tk bleh la mcm gini. Pen jngn buat gini la. Ni sudah salah. Tk bleh la gini. Tkmo ikotkan rentak aini sangat. Ni salah la. Cnnt la like this. This is all so wrong.. Pen ni, asal buat gini.. Jngn can gini la lain kali. Tkmo turutkan ape aini nak.. i kept repeating the same lines over n over again. He shook his head n was at a loss as to why i couldnt face him n talk to him like normal.. he wasnt expecting to see that kinda reaction from me. Thruout our way home, i profusely kept thanking him. To the extend that he got uncomfortable n asked me zipped up my mouth.. He was puzzled on why was i being so formal with him with all the formalities, thanking him non-stop..

He really caught me off guard. I didnt know that he had it in him to plan surprises. Most of the time, he appeared to be so unemotional, uninvolved and disinterested. Very indifferent n nonchalant abt most of the things. He's able to shut off, shun away n put off things without giving it a 2nd thought. With him, u are to expect the unexpected. When u dont expect him to do it, he will astonish u, gave u an eye-opener n surprise u. Things that u expect him to do, thats when he will prove u wrong n wont do it. True to his star sign, he's unpredictable~